We all live life through the days trying to stay happy and keep our spirits high. Some days, we can't stay happy no matter how hard we try. There are two kinds of ponies in this world: those who try to stay happy through the hardest of times, and those who go out of their way to make others happy and put a smile on their face. The hardest decision is often finding it in your heart to make yourself happy and let those around fall into sadness, or you can be the one who sacrifices your own happiness to give it to others.
There is a secret behind the pink party pony's mask of happiness, and that is a secret that she hopes no pony will ever find.
Rising up from below the horizon, the sun made its way into the sky, Celestia's beauty shining all over Equestria. It glimmered upon the flowing rivers, fish swimming happily up stream, eating as they went. Animals woke from Fluttershy's farm, stretching in the warm sun that flowed across their bodies and eating the food that had been freshly laid out for them. All in Ponyville seemed to be in peace, but one pony had stayed awake through the night. One pony who had also spent the night in deep thought, pondering about why she did what she has always done. This one pony resided at SugarCube Corner, and this pony was Pinkie Pie.
She sat on her haunches, the cyan eyes staring out the window into the endless horizon. From the top of SugarCube Corner, she Pinkie could see all of Ponyville while also being able to keep some sort of privacy that she very much needed. The pink cotton candy mane that rested upon her head had slightly less volume than it normally had. Her head hung heavy and low while she continued to stare out the window as the streets below began to fill with ponies going along with their daily business. There wasn't much she could do for many of the ponies around Ponyville, besides make them tasty bakery treats or give them a sweet smile. It was her passion to make sure everyone around was kept happy and had a smile. She just couldn't stand to see anypony live the day without some happiness to keep them going. That was all she ever wanted out of everypony a smile. Even though the smiles that had been given made her happy, there was still a part inside of her that tore down what happiness she could achieve.
There is a difference between feeling happy and actually being happy, something that Pinkie had been forced to learn over the years. She had often wondered why she felt sad even though Pinkie thought that she felt happy, but in the reality of things she only had the shadow of happiness. The world around her seemed to always be sad no matter what Pinkie did, and she felt that it was up to her to keep everypony happy; also because it gave her a small glimpse into what it felt like to actually be happy.
Keeping a smile isn't an easy thing to do, it requires a great amount of effort on her part. There are days when she can barely contain the urge to break down and cry in front of her friends, and there are days that are extremely tiring. It takes time to master what Pinkie Pie has done. The fact of her existence would baffle any scientist known to pony existence. According to many scientists over the years, no pony should be able to keep as much energy as Pinkie has while also holding so much dark inside of her heart.
A tear formed in the corner of her eye, rolling down her cheek and falling to the wood floor below her hooves. Downstairs, someone was stirring up a small commotion. She didn't know what was going on, but luckily for her it didn't sound like anypony needed cheering up. She let out a heavy sigh, curling up in a ball on the floor staring towards the closed door. The faint clacking of hooves could be heard coming up the stairs, and at a fairly brisk pace as well.
Pinkie stood up on all four legs, taking in a deep breath to try and clear her mind as the hoof steps got gradually louder. The pony coming up to the room had stopped just outside the door quietly, as if they were trying to listen for something. A few knocks echoed from the door, followed by Rainbow Dash's voice.
"Hey Pinks, you in there?" Dash asked with a semi worried tone.
Pinkie Pie looked towards the ground, took a deep breath and put a smile on her face and the bounce back in her mane. Mentally preparing herself, she filled her body with energy and put a hop in her step.
"I sure am Dashie! Come on in!" She called to Dash.
Dash opened the door and walked into the room. She walked over to Pinkie Pie and sat down next to her before speaking. "Hey, Pinkie, is there something wrong?" She asked, " Cuz it seems like you've been spending a lot of time up here lately all by yourself."
Pinkie Pie was quiet for a moment, actually taking time to think about what she would say. If she told Dash how she really felt, then Dash would tell everyone else and that would mean they would feel bad for her, and Pinkie didn't want any feelings of pity. On the other hand, if she told her that everything was fine, then she would continue and try to pry at her mind more to make sure that she was. It was almost a lose lose scenario for Pinkie at that moment, but then she had a crazy idea that might just cause her to forget about her question. Maybe the muffins downstairs could help her situation...
"OOOH! I smell super tasty super berry blueberry muffins!" Pinkie squealed as she bolted past Rainbow Dash towards the kitchen.
"She's fine," Rainbow Dash mumbled as she walked back down the stairs, a smile on her face.
Pinkie waited downstairs for Dash to catch up to her, thinking about what she had just been asked. I can only avoid it for so long, she told herself, and I don't know how much longer I can.
Pinkie Pie walked through the streets of Ponyville, all of the ponies still going about. Some were shopping, others just walking and talking with their special somepony. She continued to walk down the cobbled street, her hooves clacking as she went. The road that she was taking out of town lead to Fluttershy's cabin, and at this point in time, Fluttershy was the only pony that she felt she would be able to talk to. A few minutes later, and a partially deflated mane, Pinkie arrived at the bridge just before Fluttershy's cottage.
Her stomach began to fill with butterflies, Pinkie wasn't sure if talking to such a sensitive pony about this was a great idea since what Pinkie had to tell her could be really disheartening. Putting her mind to it, Pinkie walked up the path leading to the front door of Fluttershy's house. At this point, there was no going back for her only forwards to whatever the future may bring. Each step she took became louder in her head as she got closer and closer to the door, her heart beating faster. She stopped just back from the door, nearly running into it from her nervous fumbling. She raised her hoof to knock, but as soon as she attempted to bring it down, she was startled from a serene voice from behind.
"Oh, I'm sorry I sacred you... Is there something you need Pinkie?" Fluttershy asked her with a face hidden behind a pink mane.
"Well, yes. And no. But more of yes really, so I really really need to talk to you because I think that your the only pony that I can really trust and I know you would tell me what to do!" Pinkie said, taking a large gasp of air at the end of her speech.
"Do you want to go inside to talk about it?" Fluttershy asked, sensing that this matter was something that should probably be kept secretive.
"Well, isn't it a really nice day out and everything with the sun and the birds and "
"Pinkie," Fluttershy said, "we should go inside to talk about it." She couldn't help but notice that her mane seemed... a little less poofy.
"Oh, well alrighty then!" Pinkie said, hopping her way into Fluttershy's cottage.
Both of the mares entered the cottage, walking over to the couch and sitting next to one another. Neither pony dared to speak, thinking that the other one would begin to talk first. Pinkie kept her eyes locked down to the ground, afraid of how Fluttershy's face would be after she told her of how she felt about everything. There was one thing that needed to be covered by Pinkie before she would tell Fluttershy anything.
"Fluttershy, I do trust you and everything but I need you to Pinkie Promise that whatever I tell you, you will not tell any other pony about it, OK?"
"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye," Fluttershy recited with a touch of song in her voice.
"I don't really know where to start," Pinkie said, "I just really really need to tell somepony because I don't want to pop like an over-inflated party balloon!"
"Well, uh, just start with how you feel Pinkie. Don't be scared about it, I'm here for you." She told Pinkie with a small comforting smile. "And if you just want somepony as a shoulder to cry on I'm here for you too Pinkie."
Pinkie's eyes began to water, the dam between her mask and the sadness contained inside of her breaking free and flowing through her body. Her mane went flat, and she hug tackled Fluttershy, who gave out a squeal as she was sent flying into the ground. The two ponies went flying across the room, landing on and destroying a coffee table and two vases full of flowers.
Fluttershy cracked open one eye, not knowing what to expect from this conundrum, but what she saw defied her very thoughts of Pinkie Pie. It wasn't the happy, all around joyous pony that she was used to seeing, but rather a pony who looked like they had let fourth all of their emotions. Pinkie Pie bawled on Fluttershy's chest, a tear of rivers flowing down the side of her body, puddling up on the floor. Fluttershy stroked Pinkie's mane with one hoof while the other rubbed her back, all the while whispering "Its okay..." into her ear.
The crying seemed to continue for hours as both ponies lay there, Pinkie Pie in Fluttershy's comforting embrace. Tears that had once flowed from the cyan eyes of Pinkie had began to stop, leaving her with a whimper out of her mouth. She had calmed drastically since when she had first tackled Fluttershy.
Pinkie looked up towards Fluttershy, her eyes slightly irritated and red from all of the crying. "Thank you, Fluttershy. I guess that was all I really needed because I'm starting to feel much better now."
Fluttershy simply looked down on the Pink pony, mumbling a small "Your welcome". She was just happy that she was able to help out a friend to such a great extent. Pinkie stood from laying on Fluttershy and wiped her eyes with a hoof. She now had a real smile on her face, her mane gaining a new level of volume. Pinkie walked over to the kitchen sink, the water turning on for a brief moment, presumably for her to wash her face. She came back into the room, happy as ever. Fluttershy was picking up the bits and pieces of her trashed table and vases, making sure she didn't forget any pieces of glass. Pinkie helped pick up the mess she made, moving the wood that had been used for the coffee table into a corner to be repaired at a later time.
Pinkie walked towards the door, stopping as she opened it. "Thank you so so so much Fluttershy! You really helped me even though you don't realize how much you really did and you just let me cry on you! And also sorry for the vases and the table, I'll pay for that! Thanks again Fluttershy!"
Fluttershy looked on at the pink pony as she left, smiling knowing that she had helped a friend in need without speaking of the subject matter. Pinkie Pie hopped down the street, a spring in her step and a song in her heart, because sometimes even the happiest ponies need a time to cry.